


Compatible

by RanchDeChloe



Series: jock on jock crime [16]
Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Bachelorette Party, Bridal Shower, Drunken Flirting, F/F, Friendship, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Sleepy Sex, Spanking, Strippers & Strip Clubs, Wake-Up Sex, a dash of hankcon, mlm & wlw solidarity, wedding guests - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-21
Updated: 2019-02-21
Packaged: 2019-11-01 23:23:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17876738
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RanchDeChloe/pseuds/RanchDeChloe
Summary: “They’re announcing their engagement, I believe they want to make the evening special” 900 argues.Gavin yelps, “You guys are getting married! How the fuck did I miss this? You told my Roomba but not me?!?!?”“They didn’t tell me, they are both wearing new rings… you are a detective, Reed, don’t embarrass yourself” He finally cracks an eye open and peers down at him.Tina and Rachel lift their hands in unison and Gavin gawks.---Gavin is asked to be the best man at Tina's wedding and barely handles the stress. RK900 attempts to keep him in check.





	Compatible

**Author's Note:**

> I'm back! Sorry for the loooong break. 
> 
> While this is part of a series it is easy to read as a stand alone and requires no backstory.
> 
> Notes on the end about americanisms and some notes on the sobriety level/sleepy sex consent levels if you are curious.

Tina Chen is having a panic attack while looking down at a slightly pale pink roast chicken.

“Is it done?” Gavin squints at it, he’s no cook but that doesn’t look quite right.

“I don’t know, its what the recipe said to cook it for but i don’t want to like, poison you and Rachel”. 

“Why can’t we just order pizza like we normally do?” 

Tina sighs, “Not tonight”.

Gavin raises an eyebrow, “Then just stick it in, I think its still bleeding”.

Tina sighs and slips it back into the oven. Gavin gets her another beer and they return to the living room, join their other halves. 

900 has his eyes closed laying back on Rachel’s lap as she walks him through some imagination exercises she’s learned as a children’s therapist. 

Rachel and 900 had taken to each other easily. 900 appreciated that she was just fastidious as he was and thoughtfully quiet. Rachel liked a project and a willing deviant android who didn’t mind some playful thought exercises was a treat for her.

Gavin plops on top of 900’s legs and Tina kisses the top of Rachel’s head, “Sorry honey, its going to be a while yet”.

“I still vote pizza” Gavin sighs.

“Not tonight, Reed” 900 chides, eyes still shut and unbothered.

“You don’t eat you don't get a vote, we can stay up late together and have two dinners, problem solved” Gavin whines.

“They’re announcing their engagement, I believe they want to make the evening special” 900 argues.

Rachel squeaks and Tina groans. 

Gavin yelps, “You guys are getting married! How the fuck did I miss this? You told my Roomba but not me?!?!?”

“They didn’t tell me, they are both wearing new rings… you are a detective, Reed, don’t embarrass yourself” He finally cracks an eye open and peers down at him.

Tina and Rachel lift their hands in unison and Gavin gawks.

Tina plops on Gavin’s lap and 900 gives no protest, unbothered by the stack of officers. “I wanted tonight to be nice because I want you to be my best dude or whatever…. I’d ask 900 but I’ll look short next to him and fuck that, its my day… so its you, Gavin”.

Gavin is stunned, “Me? don’t you have sisters?”

“Yeah but I don’t see them every day, I’m stuck with you”.

“Sure. I mean. Of course” Gavin nods, still totally blindsided, “Who asked who? Don’t tell me you didn’t tell me you bought a ring”.

“Naw, we talked it to death and went ring shopping together, check this out, read the inscription”. She pops off the new ring and hands it to Gavin who squints before blushing and handing it back.

Rachel is beet red, “I didn’t think we were going to share that!”

Tina laughs, “Reed’s been 100% TMI since the day I met him, I get to shock him once”.

“I can’t believe I didn’t know you two were doing this!”

“If you pulled your head from your ass once in a while, you might have known” RK sighs.

Gavin’s eyebrows knit higher and he frowns at his significant smart phone, “Not cool”.

Tina plops off them and onto the regular sofa, looking a little frazzled.

RK pokes Gavin in the ribs, “Congratulate them”.

Gavin slumps, “Congratulations” he mumbles.

“You seem thrilled” Rachel’s delivery is dry, her eyes blink owlishly behind her thick glasses.

“No really, I am happy for you guys I just…. I’m absorbing…. and I’m hungry, if I had chicken I would be much more pumped”.

Tina whines and flops back, “This is why I get for trying to cook”.

900 stretches to pat her thigh, “Never do anything nice for Gavin, you can only live to regret it”.

“You are wise… plastic and wise” Tina squeezes his hand.

——

The fact that Tina is going to go from Ms. Chen to Ms. Chen-Arkowitz does little to affect the day to day life of one shitty selfish detective till bridal shower day. He’s left wasting a day off in a ritzy rented party room that Tina’s sisters had dolled up in powder pink flowers, tea cups, and tiny pastel cookies that were too sweet and too small to really count as a snack.

He was already sweating though his t-shirt, feeling suddenly woefully under dressed, clutching his shoddily wrapped gift to his chest. 

It turns out he did not understand what kind of beast a bridal shower was. He never went to a family one, usually sort of an all lady affair and he didn’t have many chick friends. Thankfully they were some of the first to arrive as part of the wedding party. A thinner, shorter, almost-sorta-tina marches up to them with a smile, peeling the gift from a shell shocked Gavin’s hands and another neater box from 900’s. 

“Come on in, fellas” She smiles, “I’m Jean, TIna’s with mom in the kitchen finishing some things, can you boys finish the napkin folding? Thanks”. The little lady doesn’t wait for an answer, marching away with the boxes. Gavin’s words get caught in his throat, as he looks around and who must be Tina and Rachel’s female siblings and cousins buzz around setting up, all dressed neatly in sundresses and teeny tiny purses. “I have made a mistake” Gavin blurts.

900 looks down, “What’s new?”

“I thought this was a fun party not a stuffy party”.

“You’ll survive”.

“I brought the gift you told me not to”.

“Oh Reed you complete fool”.

“Can I put my name on yours?”

“You mean the wine glasses off the registry not the rainbow phallus you thought was hilarious?”

“I was wrong ok! I thought TIna’s family would be…. you know… tinay” He’s getting red in the face and embarrassed. “I’m gonna go get my box back, I’ll put it in the car and give it to her later”

900 rolls his eyes but lets him go, adding ‘find napkins and folding instructions from a Chen’ to his HUD as he lets Gavin solve his own problem.

—

Gavin falls asleep twice watching the brides to be open kitchen utensil after kitchen utensil. Tina only nods off once, for a second, between the toaster oven and the kitchen sheers.

—  
Tina and Gavin watch her family drag box after box out to Rachel’s truck from inside 900’s car, shoving the last of the left over tiny cucumber sandwiches into their mouths.

“Sorry, I knows these kind of parties suck but now I have just a shit ton of linens so that’s rad”.

“Naw, its cool, your family is…”

“They are bossy and kind of boring”.“I was gonna say pretty ok” Gavin shrugs defensively.

Tina nudges his shoulder, “no you weren’t, I don’t like you because you sugarcoat things, I like you because because you say whatever you are thinking…. and you are so fucking dumb, I just love a fucking idiot”.

Gavin snorts, Shoving her shoulder before reaching under the seat and pulling out his gift, “Speaking of”.

She rips the package open and and laughs, looking at the neon disaster of a cheap sex store dildo.

“Perfect, I’ll strap it on for next pride, we can hang a tiny flag from it”.

Gavin laugh easier, “I knew you’d dig it… Your siblings are going to hate a real bachelorette party”.

Tina shrugs “Aw fuck em, if they can’t have fun with what we think is fun they don’t deserve to be there, I’m sure you’ll plan something amazing”.

—-

Gavin plans nothing and a week before the event he’s scrambling.

He has no idea how to plan a lesbian bachelorette party for his own god damn best friend and 900 is no help at all.

“If the bridal shower is any indication to -“

“That party sucked! I want to do something the girls would actually enjoy! We can all go to hooters and than a strip club, can you get a reservation at a strip club?”

900’s LED cycles yellow, “I know nudity is a common theme in these kinds of parties but between the coworkers who are invited and her sisters that seems…. uncomfortable”. 

Gavin’s shoulder’s slump forward “But that’s like, tradition, you see some boobs, you get plastered, you make a bunch of sex jokes, and everyone is hungover the day after”.

“It doesn’t sound right but I don’t have the data pool to correct you”.

“You are faster, call ‘the Slippery Honey Pot’ and see if they take reservation?”

900’s chest emits a muffled beep of frustration as he places a call.

—

Chris Miller has not peeled his eyes from his knees. Three Chen sisters attempt to dissemble chicken wings with knives and forks like some kind of space aliens from Vermont. Connor and RK watch Tina and Gavin shove their faces full of nutritionally unsound fried snacks and watered down beer.

Rachel and her sister occupy themselves by playing with the hooters girls’ hula hoops.

900 had to admit for as bizarre a display it was turning out better then he could have assumed it would have.

“GREAT WORK BABE” Tina nearly yells, giving a buffalo sauce smeared thumbs up to her future spouse who gives her one back. Rachel empties the last of her frozen margarita down her gullet as she manages to keep her hula hoop going.

Connor puts his elbows on the table, leaning his chin on his hands, messaging RK900 /They really are in love, it is very sweet/.

Gavin burps and attempts to use a single wet wipe to clean up the wreckage of his hands, “You dick-knockers ready to take this party elsewhere?”

Chris finally looks up, “I gotta get home to Sarah and the baby, she’ll worry if I’m out too late”.

Tina snickers, “Sarah was invited, and I mean…. so was the baby, babies see titties all the time!”

“Bettina!” The oldest sister scolds.

“Oh cork it, it’s my bachelorette party, Let me have fun”.

Gavin and Tina blindly high five each other and 900 frowns as he tracks the micro-splatter of grease and hot sauce off their hands.

Chris takes the ribbing in stride, “I know, she’s sad she missed it but the little one isn’t ready big parties, sorry Tina, I can drop Jean, Annie, and Carson off”. The Chen sisters are already gathering their purses, happy for the escape.

“You guys too? You are all traitors! My own flesh and blood” Tina teases, getting up and hugging her siblings, leaving red saucy finger prints on all their pastel blouses, “Love you all, Chris is the best, be nice to him when he drops you at the hotel, don’t make a pass at him, he’s married”.

Her sisters all blush in prude embarrassment and Tina just cackles. Tina wheels around, ruffling Gavin’s hair with her dirty fingers, “Come on dipshit, take me to the ass and titties you promised me and my wife”. Tina beams with pride, she’s enjoying saying the new title.

“I’m not your wife yet, you’ll never catch me copper” Rachel drunkenly slurs behind them, barely above a whisper before she breaks into giggles, hula hoop clattering to the floor. 

900 processes a payment to cover their check, LED flickering “Connor, if you could help me herd the inebriated to the limo”. 

Connor bites his lip, “I should go too”.

900 looks as shocked as his eternally stoic face will allow.

“Sorry, Hank doesn’t care if I participate in enjoying a strip club but I feel weird doing it without him. It also stirs up some very strange memories. Forgive me?”

900 slumps a little, “If you are sure of your choice, I understand, send Anderson my regards”.

Connor pulls him into a brief hug, “I’ll see you all at work, if you need help if the 4 of them drink too much, give me a call, ok?”

“Of course”. 900 briefly squeezes 800’s hand, thinking about interfacing and quietly pleading not to be left alone with this many drunk humans but its fine. Really. He can handle this.

“Can I get a ride?” Rachel’s sister calls, hurrying after Connor as he leaves. 

Tina seems unphased “Well, at least we got rid of all the nerds. This is not a cool mother fucker only party”.

—-

RK900 and Rachel press into each other’s side in the vinyl booth, watching their respective parters hoot and holler at a bedazzled stripper making her ass clap inches from the blushing bride’s face.

Rachel smiles with the earnest warmth of someone watching kittens frolic at sunset, “I love her so much, you know”.

“You two do well together”.

She runs her finger around the rim of her neon green kamikaze, and 900 notes that her blood alcohol level is starting to creep up and he makes a note to get her some water.

“She just. She’s so strong. Solid. You can’t rattle her. But she’s also so fun. She laughs like a donkey but its cute. She has so many freckles on her butt”.

“I think you and Tina might want to keep facts about each other’s bodies as private information”.

They watch Gavin clap like a drunk seal and almost fall backwards out of his chair when Tina empties her wallet to buy another lap dance and accidentally spills her credit cards all over the floor.

Rachel sniffles, “She’s so beautiful and she makes my heart hurt”.

900 pats her back lightly, letting her snuggle into his side.

Rachel mumbles into his jacket, “I’m glad she has him. She’s all tom boy… she needed a little brother”.

“He’s a year older than her”.

“I know”.

900 rubs her shoulder, “I’m glad they have each other too”.

—-

It’s a mess getting the girls dropped off and safely in their apartment but they manage and its not much easier for 900 to wrestle Gavin up the stairs to his apartment, the booze has him handsy. The minute 900 drops him on the sofa, Gavin yanks him down. Gavin crawls into his lap, sloppily kissing across 900’s jaw, “you are a good dude, good guy, got them home in one piece” .Gavin paws at 900’s shirt, feeling around for skin, “I can’t believe you didn't want a lap dance”.

“It’s not something that attracts me, the physical attention of a stranger”.

“You like my attention”.

“Barely. Sometimes”.

“I like your attention, fleshlight” He murmurs, 900 notes that his blood alcohol is high enough to make an erection next to impossible.

900 firmly pushes Gavin back “Go wash up”.

Gavin gives him the finger, “Fuck off, take me to bed and fuck me…. ‘wash up’, pfft, are you kidding me?”

“You are filthy, greasy, and have stripper glitter on your throat”.

Gavin just whines.

RK puts his hand on the back of Gavin’s neck, getting them both up and guiding him to the bathroom, starting to strip Gavin’s clothes from lazy drunken limbs. 

“You don’t have to baby me, yer not my fuckin dad….” Gavin stalls, batting RK’s hands away and laughs, “But you are my daddy”.

“GAVIN!” 

“WHAT?! It’s funny! Unless you like that in which case not funny but also very funny” he snickers.

Gavin steps into the bathroom of his own free will and shuts the door on 900, “I got it, I can wash my own ass!”

900 waits in the hall, listening to the shower and constructing the movements behind the door, making sure he doesn’t slip, or do something foolish. He mentally checks off the noises of shampoo bottles and soft signs under the rush of the water. 900 only peels himself away when the waters off and he goes to turn down the bedding. 

Gavin stumbles in, towel clutched to his waist only moments before dropping it to the floor, waggling his eyebrows like a cartoon character. 

900 isn’t impressed, “In to bed with you”.

“Oh come on!”

RK pats the bed and Gavin flops with a heavy sigh, giving RK time to undress himself. Gavin watches with interest, “Come on R, just a hand job, choke me a little, something, I got a brain full of big silicone bouncing titties, don’t torture me… or do, do torture me but like…. physically”. Gavin sits up before bending over and resting on his elbows, “Come on, I’m not that loaded”.

RK sighs and reaches over, quickly poking a finger into Gavin’s mouth, making his sputter.

He gets a clearer read on his blood alcohol at least. He’s still intoxicated but he’s sobering. Intoxicated sex grates against his protocol but he knows Gavin feels comfortable and safe with him.

“I will consent to providing a light spanking if it helps settle you down for bed” He sits primly on the edge of the bed. 

Gavin clamors over his lap, graceless and sloppy as he flops over him, already rutting against his thigh with his soft cock, “Hell yes!”

RK presses a hand firmly to the top of his back between his shoulder blades and Gavin makes a soft pleased noise as R rubs a hand over his ass, “I fucking needed this R, tonight was so fun but I need you” He mumbles.

RK900 is in no rush, letting his knuckles brush against the top of his thighs, his sack, a particularly interesting old scar. Gavin whimpers and wiggles, “Come on. don’t be a fucking tease.”

RK900 cups his hand, taking a few light slaps that are more noise than impact but Gavin still happily squirms, quietly down.

“That’s it, just relax and count” He soothes.

Gavin folds his arms under head, losing himself to the very mild sting and rhythm of the swats till the fog of the night finally takes him, lightly snoring as he passes out. 

RK900 fondly shakes his head, skipping his stasis so he can stay away, gently stroking his lower back.

—-

 

Had RK900 known that Gavin would have been such an asshole hungover come morning he might have bought some weight behind that spanking.

 

—-

Work lunches are spent picking up dresses and invitations and picking out ties. Gavin has to take Gavin out behind the station to smash glass bottles in the dumpster to calm her nerves. The week before the big day Gavin sits with her in the bathroom as she tries not to vomit from nerves about flubbing her vows.

The morning of the wedding Gavin and 900 are sent on the very important mission to find the eyelash glue Tina likes, having to visit 3 drug stores and one make up counter to find the damn thing. It’s almost worth it to have her hug him like that when they delivered the goods. Tina looked beautiful during the ceremony at the courthouse, sniffing through the proceedings but looking like a princess.

He’s so focused on someone else for once that he completely forgot to be nervous about his toast till the reception. 

Gavin frowns at the hotel bathroom mirror, trying to finish settling himself so he’ll look ok in the night’s pictures, trying to make the most out of the half and hour before the party starts.

“I can’t believe I have to wear a fucking peach bow tie and vest to match the bridesmaids and you get to dress like that” He whines.

900 steps behind him, reaching around him to smooth out Gavin’s jacket. He’s a solid 5 inches taller than normal, tall enough that he isn’t even resting his chin on Gavin’s head. Gavin looks down and frowns at the expensive high heels poking out of neatly tailored tuxedo pants. RK’s jacket fits like a dream and his shirt collar is open a few buttons, skipping the tie for a garnet brooch on his lapel. He’s repeatedly turned on and off a modified nail polish program, not quite able to decide if its his style. It’s painfully elegant and fashion forward. 900 picked the outfit from hair to sole from a single page of ‘vogue homme' and he went with it.

Gavin sighs, “I look like a tap dancer in an elementary school talent show and you look like a god”.

“You look very handsome, I don’t know if ‘peach blossom’ is your color but the cut is nice and you look tidy with the rest of the wedding party” 900 attempts to soothe. 

“It’s still not fair, you have never even wore formal shit before and you knock it out of the part first go. Absolute bullshit.”

900 frets over Gavin’s hair, fixing loose strands, “Just accept that we both look appropriate”.

Gavin brushes him off and turns to look up at him, frowning deeper at the new distance. 900 lets on a hair of a smirk as he leans down and presses a very brief kiss between his eyebrows. 

Gavin makes an annoyed grunt and swats him away, pulling messy scribbled note-cards from his jacket, going over what he’s going to say as he perches on the edge of the tub.

—-

The best man’s speech goes about as good as as can be expected. He never looks up at the seated guests, nose close to his cards (900 makes a note to make him an appointment at the optometrists), as he stumbled over the words. His chosen story about Tina at the academy meanders and is a little less than appropriate for the crowd but thankfully the brides laughs. His eyes get misty with tears but instead of letting them spill, Gavin just gets red faced with frustration by the time he nods and sits and people politely clap. 

Tina smiles and teaches over, squeezing his knee, “Nailed it, dumb ass” She whispers.

Gavin snorts and wipes his face on his sleeve, managing to scratch his cheek on his cuff-link. 

—-

When dinner is picked over and the first dance is out of the way and the wedding party turned loose, Gavin steals Connor’s seat next to 900. 

“I’m surprised you didn’t faint, your stress levels were shockingly high during your speech”.

“Fuck off dude” Gavin smiles “I did awesome”.

“As long as Chen is pleased” He nods, turning his eyes to watch friends and strangers dance.

Gavin reaches under the table and squeezes his thigh, relaxing into the quiet and the ambient joy of the room.

They murmur to each other and gossip, Gavin goes through another glass of champagne every time a member of the waitstaff passes. Tina gets Gavin up once or twice to dance. Connor attempts to peel 900 up who staunchly refuses, even after a brief interface where Connor attempts to prove that it is indeed ‘fun’. 

After that Connor leaves him be and sticks to gently bullying Hank into the slow dances. 900 muses, “I think they will be next”.

“Who?”

“The Lieutenant and Connor, I think Connor wants all this, the event, the proclamations of love, the legal protections”.

“Gross”.

900 nods “Very”.

The closest they get to the dance floor as a pair is cozying up to the bar where Gavin teaches Rachel’s college age cousins simple stupid drinking games and 900 proves that he can list the components of any messy cocktail they flop together in a cup, no matter how complicated or gross. 

900 sighs and sticks his finger in another murky glass, “Vodka, low proof whiskey, canned lime juice, grenadine, milk, Alan Arkowitz’s saliva, orange blossom bitters, and coors light… the raised sodium content would insinuate that there is an added quantity of table salt. ”

The drunk young people cheer and 900 wipes his finger on a bar napkin. 

When Gavin gets too loaded to stand, the two hole up at the table again but now Gavin drapes his legs over 900’s lap, managing to take up 3 chairs, “I don’t…. I don’t think I want all this”. Gavin leans his elbow on the table, steadying himself.

“It’s too late Gavin, you already consumed more cake and alcohol than recommended”.

“Not that dipshit, the wedding stuff”.

“I don’t see you finding joy in that” 900 nods at Rachel and Tina, both champagne flush and murmuring to each other on the dance floor, more swaying than dancing. Their dresses smooshed together in a massive pearl-colored puff. 

Gavin laughs, “Naw, I wouldn’t pull off a veil”. 

900 lazily strokes the slinky dress sock at Gavin’s ankle, “Wouldn’t really frame your face, no”.

Gavin yawns and rubs his face against his sleeve, pulling his discarded jacket around him like a jacket. 

“Ready to abandon the party?”

Gavin nods and doesn’t even put up a protest when 900 scoops him up, carrying him close as they weave around drunk guests to the hotel lobby and up to their room, the alien click click of 900’s new heels strange in both their ears.

900 is clinical and gentle as he gets him out of his dress pants and shoes, leaving him in his wrinkled dress shirt, underwear and socks. Gavin smiles up at him with heavy eyes, a shitty little smirk ,”If I had to”.

“If you had to what?” 900 sits on the edge of the bed.

“If I was forced to do all this shit, at gun point of course, snipers on the roof, I would pick you” Gavin reaches up and pulls him down by the lapels, tugging him fully dressed into bed.

“Such a romantic”.

Gavin curls up around him, his face flushed, the alcohol obvious on his breath “I want to marry you and your stupid tall shoes but not like for real, just with my dick”.

“Get some sleep, Reed, you’ll regret that come morning”.

“Won’t, you know you own my fucking cock”.

900 picks up a pillow and drops it on Gavin’s head, “I do, so obey and go to sleep”.

Gavin giggles and burrows deeper into the covers till he manages to rest.

—-

900 is snapped out of stasis the moment Gavin gets up to piss but he doesn’t both opening his eyes, tracking the sounds of Gavin’s foot falls, his yawns, the running of water.

He crawls back into bed, tugging off the blankets, sloppily tugging at 900’s belt.

900 peeks down with one cracked eye, “Excuse me, Detective”.

Gavin just smirks, “Damn, I thought I finally caught you sleeping”.

“Never” 900 announces dryly.

Gavin shoves 900’s legs apart, settling between his thighs as he yanks his waistband down, “I’m glad you brought your cock”.

“It makes the pants fit better, to be honest, I did not bring it for you” RK shrugs.

He leans in at nuzzles at RK’s soft cock, taking a long deep breathe. He’s finally getting used to the fact that even even after a long party night and sleeping in his clothes, RK smells of fabric softener and ozone. 

RK900’s systems shift and return to their functions post-stasis, the pleasure in his nerves blossoming and creeping through his code. He closes his eyes again, triggering an erection, “My sweet boy, who would marry me for the dick”.

Gavin pulls away from him, wincing, “Maybe forget I said that, I get sappy when I’m wasted”.

900 isn’t phased “Of course, Reed, consider it deleted… don’t stop just because you are embarrassed of your silly human emotions” He teases.

“Didn’t plan on it” Gavin grins before wrapping his lips around him, pure mischief in his eyes.

**Author's Note:**

> Hooter's is the world's dumbest ugliest restaurant with bad greasy bar food, long suffering waitresses in day-glo orange hot pants, and the strange feature of having hula hoops for waitress' to do tricks. It's Gavin in restaurant form.
> 
> All the mild sex in this fic features enthusiastic consent between two long time partners who are sure of each other's boundaries and both careful of each other's feelings, no one is ever black out drunk or put in a position of discomfort.
> 
> as always, I hope david cage suffers an eternal nagging itch deep inside his ear that he can never reach.


End file.
